I'm Mfing Awesome, Yo!

I recently wrote about the VA oversight for my anxiety medication. Its is time for me to share with you how this affected my life. I have done a lot of research on anxiety disorders and also read or heard many personal stories about anxiety. I have probably had an anxiety disorder for around 15 years. I was “treated” for many things between then and now, but anxiety was NEVER mentioned until about a year ago. I was so frustrated when all my treatment options never worked or was told “you are a parent, of course you feel like crap.” About a year ago, I had a doctor prescribe me a low level anxiety medication just to see if it would help me. I think he could see that I was over all these diagnosis and treatment options, so he was very careful with how he approached it. I took the meds and didn’t think they did anything…until I didn’t take them. It was like a winner sign was flashing and ding-ding-ding was going off in my head. Someone finally figured it out!!! I am the kind of person...

I have been without my anxiety meds for three days! The struggle is so real right now! I thought all my progress in my existence was because of my growth, when apparently it's because I was medicated because now that I am not, I am a hot MFing mess! I am a patient with the Veterans Administration (VA) and now understand why so many veterans loose their s*** and blame the VA. I cannot even explain how I am feeling because its so insanely messy and indescribable. Let me tell you how this happened. The VA's fix to bring services to veterans in smaller communities was to provide clinics with some providers being TeleHealth (like Skype) and no pharmacy. Your medication has to be ordered online only and mailed from a larger VA hospital. You are instructed to order your medication online the day you receive your medication from the previous order because it takes a long time to process and receive your medicine. I ordered my medicine as instructed and as I started seeing the bott...

Towards the mid to end of November (2018), I received a notice that the owner of my house that I rent is not renewing my lease and that I have to move out by 31 Dec. The first thing that I thought was "yeah, one more miserable f***ing thing," then I thought "where the F*** am I going to find a place to live during the holidays." I was pretty vocal and irritated with the situation. I swear he made the decision hastily; something like "now she wants me to call pest control for squirrels in the attic, f*** it, I'm selling." But, does it really matter why? No, but dude could have given me the option to stay through January to give me a better fighting chance to find a place to live and not ruin our Christmas. But Christina, how does moving out by 31 December ruin your Christmas, you may be wondering. If you look at the calendar, you will see how the holidays and weekends play out to leave the conclusion that a traditional Christmas in all its decorated glo...