I have been without my anxiety meds for three days! The struggle is so real right now! I thought all my progress in my existence was because of my growth, when apparently it's because I was medicated because now that I am not, I am a hot MFing mess! I am a patient with the Veterans Administration (VA) and now understand why so many veterans loose their s*** and blame the VA. I cannot even explain how I am feeling because its so insanely messy and indescribable.
Let me tell you how this happened. The VA's fix to bring services to veterans in smaller communities was to provide clinics with some providers being TeleHealth (like Skype) and no pharmacy. Your medication has to be ordered online only and mailed from a larger VA hospital. You are instructed to order your medication online the day you receive your medication from the previous order because it takes a long time to process and receive your medicine.
I ordered my medicine as instructed and as I started seeing the bottom of my bottle of medicine, I began to worry. I checked online and it stated that my anxiety medicine was filled and on its way with another medicine. I ran out the next day. My other medicine arrived that day all by its lonesome. That was a Sunday. On Monday, I called the VA. It took three phone numbers, two disconnects, and four transfers to get me to the pharmacy. The pharmacy said they never mailed my anxiety medication because it has been out of stock and the supplier that provides it does not have a fix date. I tried to find out why they did not notify me and I was rudely transferred to the mental health clinic mid-sentence. I was then transferred to a voicemail for "my" nurse whom I later found out was not in that day (which I swear she never is) and the other nurse called me back. She informed me that should would talk to my mental health provider, but I would either have to drive over an hour to get a new medicine (and hope that I can actually get it, if I am being honest) or wait for it to arrive in the mail (and hope it actually arrives this time). That was yesterday.
Today, I received a call back, finally. The outcome: my mental health provider is out. Three providers were asked to provide me a substitute. Two of them have declined: one being my primary doctor. The nurse told me she was going to wait on the other provider. When I started asking her "what if that one declines also," she got real with me and said my best bet was to drive to the walk-in clinic that was over an hour from where I work and live. I was not nice after hearing that! I know I was not! I told her, amongst other things, "this is bulls*** and now I understand why veterans off themselves in the parking lot of the VA and this is not okay!" I know that was not the right thing to say, but she was sympathetic with m e and asked I want to talk to the patient advocate because they often can make things happen. I agreed to wait on his call.
The patient advocate calls me and says something like "so I understand you are calling about your medication." "Yes," I say. His response, "which one." I tell him and he informs me it is scheduled to be refilled on 27 December because it was just filled on 6 December and cannot be filled any sooner than that. Oh Em Gee! I tell him all I just wrote above. He said was going to call the pharmacy. Here I sit, angrily awaiting another call back while losing my ever loving mind.
I receive a call back. The patient advocate says " your meds are being overnighted" and I think he thought that would be the end of it. Nope, not for this girl. I said "please tell me how that is when they said they were out of stock." He explained that the 10mg version is out of stock, but not the 5mg version. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? DO WE NOT MATH, ANYMORE!? I also mentioned that the systems said they filled my prescription and never told me about the out of stock issue. In the end, he convinced the pharmacy to fill my prescription with 5s. After a little chit chat with him, I said "I appreciate that you were able to help me, but what can I do to change this?" We talked about it. I think he was surprised that I wanted to help make a change. I told him to keep my information and if he knows anyone I can write to about my situation, I will and I am an excellent writer when I am medicated.
The nurse and patient advocate understood the ramifications of not providing treatment for a chronic condition, no matter what it is. I was appreciative of their sympathy and due diligence in trying to help me. It is hard to depend on treatment and life changes for chronic conditions. It can sometimes feel restricting, in my opinion. If I run out of medication, I feel really bad. If someone with Celiac accidentally eats gluten, they feel really bad. Those are just two examples. Those that are not being treated for chronic conditions sometimes have a hard time understanding. I have often been asked, "how did you deal with your anxiety before you were diagnosed and treated? You were just fine then, weren't you?" Yes, before you are treated you find a way to survive, but once you begin to thrive it is really hard to go back to survival. In addition, your body is not acclimated to handle that state anymore, so it's a huge shock. Not to mention, if its medicine, you can go into withdrawals. Some medications can even have life threatening withdrawal symptoms.
Next week, I will share with you how this oversight impacted me.
I ordered my medicine as instructed and as I started seeing the bottom of my bottle of medicine, I began to worry. I checked online and it stated that my anxiety medicine was filled and on its way with another medicine. I ran out the next day. My other medicine arrived that day all by its lonesome. That was a Sunday. On Monday, I called the VA. It took three phone numbers, two disconnects, and four transfers to get me to the pharmacy. The pharmacy said they never mailed my anxiety medication because it has been out of stock and the supplier that provides it does not have a fix date. I tried to find out why they did not notify me and I was rudely transferred to the mental health clinic mid-sentence. I was then transferred to a voicemail for "my" nurse whom I later found out was not in that day (which I swear she never is) and the other nurse called me back. She informed me that should would talk to my mental health provider, but I would either have to drive over an hour to get a new medicine (and hope that I can actually get it, if I am being honest) or wait for it to arrive in the mail (and hope it actually arrives this time). That was yesterday.
Today, I received a call back, finally. The outcome: my mental health provider is out. Three providers were asked to provide me a substitute. Two of them have declined: one being my primary doctor. The nurse told me she was going to wait on the other provider. When I started asking her "what if that one declines also," she got real with me and said my best bet was to drive to the walk-in clinic that was over an hour from where I work and live. I was not nice after hearing that! I know I was not! I told her, amongst other things, "this is bulls*** and now I understand why veterans off themselves in the parking lot of the VA and this is not okay!" I know that was not the right thing to say, but she was sympathetic with m e and asked I want to talk to the patient advocate because they often can make things happen. I agreed to wait on his call.
The patient advocate calls me and says something like "so I understand you are calling about your medication." "Yes," I say. His response, "which one." I tell him and he informs me it is scheduled to be refilled on 27 December because it was just filled on 6 December and cannot be filled any sooner than that. Oh Em Gee! I tell him all I just wrote above. He said was going to call the pharmacy. Here I sit, angrily awaiting another call back while losing my ever loving mind.
The nurse and patient advocate understood the ramifications of not providing treatment for a chronic condition, no matter what it is. I was appreciative of their sympathy and due diligence in trying to help me. It is hard to depend on treatment and life changes for chronic conditions. It can sometimes feel restricting, in my opinion. If I run out of medication, I feel really bad. If someone with Celiac accidentally eats gluten, they feel really bad. Those are just two examples. Those that are not being treated for chronic conditions sometimes have a hard time understanding. I have often been asked, "how did you deal with your anxiety before you were diagnosed and treated? You were just fine then, weren't you?" Yes, before you are treated you find a way to survive, but once you begin to thrive it is really hard to go back to survival. In addition, your body is not acclimated to handle that state anymore, so it's a huge shock. Not to mention, if its medicine, you can go into withdrawals. Some medications can even have life threatening withdrawal symptoms.
Next week, I will share with you how this oversight impacted me.
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