F*** This S***, I'm Out!

Towards the mid to end of November (2018), I received a notice that the owner of my house that I rent is not renewing my lease and that I have to move out by 31 Dec. The first thing that I thought was "yeah, one more miserable f***ing thing," then I thought "where the F*** am I going to find a place to live during the holidays." I was pretty vocal and irritated with the situation. I swear he made the decision hastily; something like "now she wants me to call pest control for squirrels in the attic, f*** it, I'm selling." But, does it really matter why? No, but dude could have given me the option to stay through January to give me a better fighting chance to find a place to live and not ruin our Christmas. But Christina, how does moving out by 31 December ruin your Christmas, you may be wondering. If you look at the calendar, you will see how the holidays and weekends play out to leave the conclusion that a traditional Christmas in all its decorated glory will not be had.

Of course, I bitched to anyone who would listen. Of those people I had complained to, there were two responses that echoed in my head for a few days. First, my brother said something like "you could always move here with me." Then, my friend said something like "you can stay with me through January until you find a place." Those were indeed deeper conversations with lots of interesting details for my super computer brain to process. The conclusion I came to was: I can move my stuff into storage,  move in with my friend to stash some money and look for a job, then move to Texas with my brother. I then thought about what, if anything, was holding me back. Typically I had a lot of answers for my brother as to why I could not leave Florida. I love the beaches and no matter how broke I was, I could afford to go to the beach for a mini-vaca. My job was pretty much guaranteed stability; it didn't matter to me that I had more potential. I typically was in some sort of relationship with someone I had feelings for. I have immense loyalty to my mentor whom I indirectly work for and make magic happen for him through side projects. As I thought about why I should stay, two tiny very thin threads linked me to two things: (1) my mentor, but my projects which brought me job satisfaction had become quite sparse, bordering on non-existent and (2) a man I had feelings for, but I could see no possibility for us in the near future or maybe even at all.

I texted the dude in question inquiring as to where he thinks we are going...crickets was all I received. I spoke to my mentor and his response was "I told you to go to Texas a long time ago." Well, the mentor conversation was much longer and deeper than that one statement, but you get the gist. The outcome was to wait until 3 December to see if I would be offered a position that I was on the hiring list for. Two days later, which was NOT 3 December, I made the decision without even trying. I just...well...decided. I texted ol' boy and let him know, not that he deserved that. The few friends I saw over the holiday were informed because honestly I just needed it to feel real and see how I felt about it as I said it. I even had a dear friend...dare I say a best friend of mine...return from to my life from the abyss and I even shared it with him.

It just felt right!

This is just the beginning of that story. I told some "either I am making the most courageous decision of my life or the stupidest." I honestly wonder if there is much difference in this two options. This decision is why my blog has been neglected. I had not given official notice to my bazillian "supervisors/managers" and all I wanted to write about was what was happening in my life at that moment, THIS! I hope you enjoy my future posts which will more than likely be about this courageous/stupid journey I am taking.

In the mean time, enjoy this amazing YouTube video of which I borrowed the title for this post.

You can read previous posts (here, here, and here) that I discussed topics that more than likely led up to this "hasty" decision. That last one listed was just a few days before I was given notice to vacate my home.