Skip to main content

Christmas Magic

I listened to a stranger tell the story of his first Christmas with his then 8 year old daughter, post divorce. When he first began his story, my initial reaction was "oh geeze, another ugly divorce story where the dude gets screwed over. how cliche." I was presently surprised when his story quickly shifted to his experience of trying to make a magical memory for his daughter.
I was hooked on that story. I listened to every word, eagerly waiting for the next. When he finished telling his story, I shared some thoughts with him. That was the purpose of this meet-up anyhow.

That was a great story. Even though you started off your story about your divorce being ugly, the rest of the story was relatable to so many people, divorced or not. Not having the money to have a big Christmas and not understanding what your children envision Christmas as, is so relatable. 
As he read his story, I thought about this Christmas.

This year I am super broke. I shared with my daughters that I will not be able to buy any Christmas presents and most, if not all, of our activities will have to be free. I am so lucky to have children that are understanding and know how much I love them, without spending money. I do not know how I got so lucky.
Because I am so broke, I had to break "the news" to my 10 year old daughter. You know, "the news" you wait as long as possible to share with your children because you do not want to ruin the magic. Unfortunate and fortunate for me, she already knew. Whew...sort of. I was devastated that she knew, but also thankful that I did not ruin her Christmas.

The pressure we put on ourselves to make a magical Christmas can get a little out of hand. I recently watched a cheesy Christmas movie on Netflix. One of the characters was from medieval times and he was happy getting an orange in his stocking. We have come a long way since then. I see people giving their children a ton of gifts, and expensive ones at that, from Santa. Then there are children that get something affordable and small. This causes incongruencies in the Secret of Santa (SOS).
As a society, we rarely take into account how our actions affect others. Providing an extravagant "Santa Christmas" has an impact on other families. Providing an extravagant Christmas as parents has an impact on other families, as well. The magic of Christmas has been distorted to the point of being unrecognizable, even for this young lady of 41. Christmas as a whole is not how I remember it. I keep my children's Christmas as down to earth as I can, but I remember the days of them comparing themselves to others. It's tough as a parent.

Christmas is about connectedness and giving; watching cheesy Christmas movies, singing Christmas carols even if you suck at singing, baking and sharing cookies, and drinking hot cocoa, cider, or toddies. It's about the thought behind your gift giving-showing that you know someone and you care enough to pay attention.

Tis the Season to Unrealistic Expectations!







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Will You Be My Friend?

Why is it so hard to make friends? Humans need social connections to survive and thrive. I feel that developing friendships gets harder as we get older, but then wonder if it slopes back down after a certain age. Since moving to Texas, I have met many wonderful people that I believe had good intentions to grow a friendship with me. I have been here for nine months and feel disconnected. The other day, I was sharing how I was feeling with a new person in my life. She expressed she had been experiencing the same thing. That conversation inspired this post. As a child, I did struggle to make friends, but not like how I do now. I kind of just picked someone that liked the same things as me and then would be friends for however long. I have noticed that as people get older, like golden years older, they start to lack f***s. By then I think I might be like "either you like me or you don't." I have shared in previous posts why friendship is distinctly challenging for me...

My Experiences - A Year Later!

It has been almost one year since my last blog post. I have been on a long journey since that day and I could not bring myself to write during that time. I am ready to write again. My last post was about me taking care of myself, specifically through physical fitness and relationships. I will talk about my fitness journey in this post because, honestly, it is just easier.

Why Not Me

If you have ever been to a therapy session you may have noticed that the therapist does not ask "why?" Ha! If you haven't noticed, you are probably replaying as many sessions as you possibly can to see if you can catch them asking this big no-no question. On the opposite spectrum, as a performance improvement professional, I am taught to ask "why" until all the "whys" have been discovered. What's up with the word "why?" Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay  There are a couple of reasons the word "why" is a challenge. First, it often takes a long time to find "why" and explain "why." We are cautioned about the lengthiness of the "why" exercise in my coursework. More importantly, the term "why" can come off accusatory, judgemental, and blame-attributing. So why do we ask "why" so often? When we are not selected for a job, we want to know why-and we often ask. Is it pos...