Skip to main content

Christmas Magic

I listened to a stranger tell the story of his first Christmas with his then 8 year old daughter, post divorce. When he first began his story, my initial reaction was "oh geeze, another ugly divorce story where the dude gets screwed over. how cliche." I was presently surprised when his story quickly shifted to his experience of trying to make a magical memory for his daughter.
Photo by Toni Cuenca from Pexels
I was hooked on that story. I listened to every word, eagerly waiting for the next. When he finished telling his story, I shared some thoughts with him. That was the purpose of this meet-up anyhow.

That was a great story. Even though you started off your story about your divorce being ugly, the rest of the story was relatable to so many people, divorced or not. Not having the money to have a big Christmas and not understanding what your children envision Christmas as, is so relatable. 
As he read his story, I thought about this Christmas.

This year I am super broke. I shared with my daughters that I will not be able to buy any Christmas presents and most, if not all, of our activities will have to be free. I am so lucky to have children that are understanding and know how much I love them, without spending money. I do not know how I got so lucky.
Because I am so broke, I had to break "the news" to my 10 year old daughter. You know, "the news" you wait as long as possible to share with your children because you do not want to ruin the magic. Unfortunate and fortunate for me, she already knew. Whew...sort of. I was devastated that she knew, but also thankful that I did not ruin her Christmas.

The pressure we put on ourselves to make a magical Christmas can get a little out of hand. I recently watched a cheesy Christmas movie on Netflix. One of the characters was from medieval times and he was happy getting an orange in his stocking. We have come a long way since then. I see people giving their children a ton of gifts, and expensive ones at that, from Santa. Then there are children that get something affordable and small. This causes incongruencies in the Secret of Santa (SOS).
Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexel
As a society, we rarely take into account how our actions affect others. Providing an extravagant "Santa Christmas" has an impact on other families. Providing an extravagant Christmas as parents has an impact on other families, as well. The magic of Christmas has been distorted to the point of being unrecognizable, even for this young lady of 41. Christmas as a whole is not how I remember it. I keep my children's Christmas as down to earth as I can, but I remember the days of them comparing themselves to others. It's tough as a parent.

Christmas is about connectedness and giving; watching cheesy Christmas movies, singing Christmas carols even if you suck at singing, baking and sharing cookies, and drinking hot cocoa, cider, or toddies. It's about the thought behind your gift giving-showing that you know someone and you care enough to pay attention.

Tis the Season to Unrealistic Expectations!







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Focusing On The Up Side

I recently moved to Texas from Florida with two of my daughters. It seems that my nine year old daughter is doing just fine...dare I say, even thriving. While, my seventeen year old and myself are really blah about the whole thing. If you read my last post , you know that I am completely aware of my internal struggle with this move. If you have read my post, Words Unsaid , you will know that my brain is a super-filing-system set on figuring out problems. The fact that we are not doing as well as my nine year old poses a problem to me. I know...I know...we should not compare ourselves to others, but by golly I want to feel as great as that little sweet girl of mine. We recently had an amazing girls night out. My brother and his wife gifted us theater tickets to see " Anastasia ." In my mind I believed this would be the first solution to our little issue of being meh . I will just lead with, we had a great time and I will talk about that more in just a sec. Right now, I wa...
Post a Comment
Read more

You Cannot Chase Something That Does Not Run

Movies and books tell us that in order to know we matter, we have to be chased. It looks a little something like this: First, you meet and things seem to be going great. Then they do something to lose you or they run away from you. A short time later, they realize what they lost (or ran away from) and decide they need to get it back. The chase begins and eventually they have won what was once lost. They never want to lose it again, so they work to keep you forever and you live happily every after. This not only happens in interpersonal relationships, but also in friendships, workplace relationships; pretty much anywhere there is a relationship dynamic. You are probably wondering, how can this happen in the work place? Well, this is how that could look: You get hired and things are going great. You start to feel underappreciated or underemployed. You express this (or do not express this) to your supervisor and/or co-workers. You start looking for employment elsewhere because...
Post a Comment
Read more

Born To Stand Alone

I hope y'all are ready for some more Brené Brown fangirling! In my dark moments in life, somehow she always shows up to show me the light. Whether it is in a social media post, a video I run across, or a book I pick up to read at the right moment. Brené, thank you for being you and having the courage to show up and be seen.  I recently finished reading Brené Brown's book Dare to Lead . In that book she discusses values. She says that we all have two core values and the rest of the values we believe in are supportive of our two core values. I believe my two core values are: courage and legacy. When I would talk about values in my classes, I would mention integrity and authenticity as being some of my core values. I now believe those have a supporting role in my core values of legacy and courage. It takes a lot of courage to show up and be your authentic self and to sometimes stand alone in integrity. I want to be represented accurately which is why I get so upset when people...
Post a Comment
Read more