My Experiences - Yep, My Life Is A Bit Of A Mess...Oh Well

The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is the problem. - Theodore Rubin

mmmmm....coffee is NEVER a problem!

Yep! My love of quotes is back on my blog! :) I really like that quote, not because I need it for myself, but because I have had some run-ins with people who were frustrated with my problematic life.

Where do I begin...

I am in a transition period in my life. It is not a pleasant one and it has been a struggle for me. I have way more bad days than good for a long while now. This has been hard on the people in my life. I do not hide my feelings well and that is just who I am. I have improved, but I will probably never change 100%. I have discovered who I can snot cry with, who I can emotionally vomit on, and who I can be grumpy and bitter around.

Just a random meme I like :)

This leaves everyone else:
The people who can only handle me at my best. The people who need me to be their sunshine. I still care about these people. I still want to have these people in my life. At first, I get mad at these people especially when they come around me and then proceed to pick on me because I am having a bad day. I want to just tell them, "if you do not like who I am today, then go the fuck away." But I don't. Instead I just try to fake cheer up to make them feel better.

Fake Cheery Me....adorbs huh?

I have, however, learned to not get hurt by the people who just stay away either; because they know I am having a bad day or I tell them up front. That is a new skill I have acquired. This skill is absolutely amazing. The ability to realize that sometimes the other person just is not capable of dealing with the negatives in your life, is truly freeing. The ability to accept that when someone doesn't like who you have become is their issue and not yours. Its okay to not be liked and accepted by everyone, to include people who used to like and accept you.

Another random fave meme

Back to those people in my life that put up with my crazy right now. The ones I allow to see how I truly am 24/7. The good, the bad and the ugly. These people are special and I am absolutely grateful for them. These are the people who let me be me and in the process my frown usually turns upside down. They bring the joy back into my life. They are the awesome in my life!

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Will You Be My Friend?

Why is it so hard to make friends? Humans need social connections to survive and thrive. I feel that developing friendships gets harder as we get older, but then wonder if it slopes back down after a certain age. Since moving to Texas, I have met many wonderful people that I believe had good intentions to grow a friendship with me. I have been here for nine months and feel disconnected. The other day, I was sharing how I was feeling with a new person in my life. She expressed she had been experiencing the same thing. That conversation inspired this post. As a child, I did struggle to make friends, but not like how I do now. I kind of just picked someone that liked the same things as me and then would be friends for however long. I have noticed that as people get older, like golden years older, they start to lack f***s. By then I think I might be like "either you like me or you don't." I have shared in previous posts why friendship is distinctly challenging for me...

My Experiences - A Year Later!

It has been almost one year since my last blog post. I have been on a long journey since that day and I could not bring myself to write during that time. I am ready to write again. My last post was about me taking care of myself, specifically through physical fitness and relationships. I will talk about my fitness journey in this post because, honestly, it is just easier.

I Am Enough!

I have recently discovered what my "trigger" is in relationships. Those things that cause me to feel uneasy and either crush me or make me want to bolt...perhaps even both of those things at the same time. Why is this important? Well, because it sets up standards for me in relationships. Those things that I do not like are exactly the opposite of what I want in a relationship. Contrary to popular belief, people have different things they want. There may be variations when it comes to family, friendship, work-ships, and romantic relationships, but it can be very enlightening to really dig deep to find out. I had been feeling uneasy about a friendship I recently rekindled and I was trying to figure out what was bothering me. I talked to my best friend about it at length because it helps me work through things...poor girl. I really thought it was one thing and even communicated that to said friend. Well, apparently I needed the right combination of booze and context to get to...

I'm Mfing Awesome, Yo!

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