My ex and I separated in April of 2014. I did not realize at the time how hard dating would end up being. I am not sure if it is because of my age or because times have changed so much since I was last single. I attempted this dating thing a few times since then and they were epic fails. I took some time off, first because I was exhausted and frustrated, and second because I felt like I needed a plan. That break lasted about 6 months and I am back at it again.
I am absolutely entertained by people sometimes. Within 72 hours of trying 4 new to me dating apps, I have some observations and personal opinions to share. First, I have decided that I will not pay anyone to help me find a date, so I knocked two of the apps off my list right away.So let’s rewind to night one of navigating two dating apps I remained with. I started working on my profile, ya know adding pictures, answering questions, trying to come up with something clever for the “tell about yourself”, etc. As I was working on it, I received messages. I was bored and excited, so I responded to a few. However, I started noticing some things the next morning when I got back on. I was chatting/receiving messages from people outside my area, not in the age range I am comfortable with, and one person didn’t even have one picture of himself. I starting thinking about some standards and rules I may need to set to help me decide who to respond to. As I was contemplating that, the guy without the pics, sent me one of himself…ummmmm…was not attracted to him at all. He was a fugly version of Kat Williams (I know, so mean, but it’s the best description I could give). I am by no means attracted to men with long hair and he just was not attractive to me without the hair issue. You cannot fix ugly (and it’s in the eye of the beholder). I did not talk to him again. He has sent me a few messages since then and yes, I deleted them…go ahead….judge me.
As the day went on, I received a lot of messages. I have yet to even send an initial message yet because it’s just too easy being a girl. I am sure I will tire of the people that contact me and reach out, but for now I am okay with this. Anyhow, I decided to not respond to people that are under 30 or over 49, dudes with their shirts off in their profile pic, or people outside my area.
I made an exception for one kid in his early twenties because he asked me if I date white dudes. I felt it was my duty to dispel the rumor that “once you go black, you don’t go back” with a simple “I am an equal opportunity dater.” This turned into a conversation because I was at lunch alone and bored. Then he says “can I ask you a dirty question?” I say “sure” because how bad could it really be? This is me we are talking about. I’m not the shyest person. He proceeds to probe me with questions about “tossing salad.” I inquire as to if he is trolling me and respond accordingly to his questions. To which the final message I received from him was “I really want to try it.” My response, I feel, was perfect, “So, find yourself a gal your age with a nice badunkadunk. Don’t get one of those flat booty girls. Make sure her glory hole is clean and give it a try.” He never responded back. Maybe I am not cut out to be a sex therapist…I’ll just check that off my list of possible careers.
I have received so many messages from shirtless dudes, to include a 51 year old, seriously put your MFing shirt on! I actually responded to one about how lame it was. He thought it was me flirting…yeah no. I also received a lot of Lil Wayne wannabes with their dreads, gold teeth, and sagging pants…negative ghostrider.
My idea to try to keep these messages at a minimum was to add a disclaimer to my profile: “If you are a teen, in your twenties or past your forties, I’m not interested. If you live outside the emerald coast, I’m not a long distance gal. If you are “so hood,” I outgrew that when I was 17. I do not discriminate based on race. No pic, no response.”Last, but not least, I am so tired of the following messages: “hey,” “how are you,” “you are so beautiful (and repeating throughout our conversation how beautiful you think I am),” “so, tell me about yourself,” “what do you like to do for fun.” calling me anything like “lil mama” or “pretty lady,” asking to text me/meet me right away, and last but not least alluding to touching me of any sort.
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| onesizzle,com |
I am absolutely entertained by people sometimes. Within 72 hours of trying 4 new to me dating apps, I have some observations and personal opinions to share. First, I have decided that I will not pay anyone to help me find a date, so I knocked two of the apps off my list right away.So let’s rewind to night one of navigating two dating apps I remained with. I started working on my profile, ya know adding pictures, answering questions, trying to come up with something clever for the “tell about yourself”, etc. As I was working on it, I received messages. I was bored and excited, so I responded to a few. However, I started noticing some things the next morning when I got back on. I was chatting/receiving messages from people outside my area, not in the age range I am comfortable with, and one person didn’t even have one picture of himself. I starting thinking about some standards and rules I may need to set to help me decide who to respond to. As I was contemplating that, the guy without the pics, sent me one of himself…ummmmm…was not attracted to him at all. He was a fugly version of Kat Williams (I know, so mean, but it’s the best description I could give). I am by no means attracted to men with long hair and he just was not attractive to me without the hair issue. You cannot fix ugly (and it’s in the eye of the beholder). I did not talk to him again. He has sent me a few messages since then and yes, I deleted them…go ahead….judge me.
As the day went on, I received a lot of messages. I have yet to even send an initial message yet because it’s just too easy being a girl. I am sure I will tire of the people that contact me and reach out, but for now I am okay with this. Anyhow, I decided to not respond to people that are under 30 or over 49, dudes with their shirts off in their profile pic, or people outside my area.
I made an exception for one kid in his early twenties because he asked me if I date white dudes. I felt it was my duty to dispel the rumor that “once you go black, you don’t go back” with a simple “I am an equal opportunity dater.” This turned into a conversation because I was at lunch alone and bored. Then he says “can I ask you a dirty question?” I say “sure” because how bad could it really be? This is me we are talking about. I’m not the shyest person. He proceeds to probe me with questions about “tossing salad.” I inquire as to if he is trolling me and respond accordingly to his questions. To which the final message I received from him was “I really want to try it.” My response, I feel, was perfect, “So, find yourself a gal your age with a nice badunkadunk. Don’t get one of those flat booty girls. Make sure her glory hole is clean and give it a try.” He never responded back. Maybe I am not cut out to be a sex therapist…I’ll just check that off my list of possible careers.
I have received so many messages from shirtless dudes, to include a 51 year old, seriously put your MFing shirt on! I actually responded to one about how lame it was. He thought it was me flirting…yeah no. I also received a lot of Lil Wayne wannabes with their dreads, gold teeth, and sagging pants…negative ghostrider.
My idea to try to keep these messages at a minimum was to add a disclaimer to my profile: “If you are a teen, in your twenties or past your forties, I’m not interested. If you live outside the emerald coast, I’m not a long distance gal. If you are “so hood,” I outgrew that when I was 17. I do not discriminate based on race. No pic, no response.”Last, but not least, I am so tired of the following messages: “hey,” “how are you,” “you are so beautiful (and repeating throughout our conversation how beautiful you think I am),” “so, tell me about yourself,” “what do you like to do for fun.” calling me anything like “lil mama” or “pretty lady,” asking to text me/meet me right away, and last but not least alluding to touching me of any sort.
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| www.livingly.com |
Dating online is exhausting and maybe it’s not for me, but I will stick this out…for a little while at least.
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