Skip to main content

My Experiences - Wait! Not So Fast (Online Dating)

www.onsizzle.com

 As I navigate this online dating thing of which I am taking a bit more seriously this time around, I have noticed that standards seem to be expected to be lower in this online world than in real life. I would like to dive into this phenomenon and examine it.

 In the real world, just as in the online world, looks are usually the first attractant. So, it only makes sense that photos are front and center. However, I have noticed that folks are not putting their best selves forward or at all. A picture of you half naked, with another lady friend, with your fish, in your Halloween costume or of a funny meme is just not going to cut it. Those may work for a small percentage of the population, but in real life I would see the real you unless I met you on a fishing trip or at a Halloween party. I would definitely not be interested in you while you were hanging out with another lady. I would say to put those fun pictures after the normal one if you really want to show different sides of your personality. 

 Next up, the initial contact. Let’s take what I get from online dating and tell a story as if it is happening in the real world. 

1. Johnny walks by my office every morning and says “Good Morning Beautiful.” I respond back with “Good Morning” but Johnny disappears until the next morning. I feel like I am living in the movie Ground Hog Day. I cannot get it to stop even when I stop responding. 

2. I am sitting at a bar. I lock eyes with this adorable guy. He walks over and says “hey, how are you?” I respond with “I’m well, how are you?” He hands me a piece of paper with his number on it and says “texting is easier.” I look at him and say “let’s just chat here for a while.” He walks away. Two weeks later the same guy comes over and says “hey, how are you?” I just look at him in astonishment and walk away. 

3. I go to the same coffee shop every morning like clockwork. This nice gentleman says “hey, how are you?” every morning. We exchange a few unimportant words. About two weeks later he asks me out on a date. I decline. He gets very upset and says mean things to me because he thought I was interested enough to say hello every day. <- this one probably sounds normal even in the context of a dating site, but how do I even know if I am interested in someone that I only exchange a few meaningless words with, online or otherwise.

I know most women that online date use it to get free dinners, drinks, and compliments. I hear men complain about this all the time. I, however, have very little free time because I live my life to the fullest and I already think I am awesome, so I am not looking for compliments. If I am to rearrange my life a little, I want to make sure I am not wasting my precious time on a failed date. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Will You Be My Friend?

Why is it so hard to make friends? Humans need social connections to survive and thrive. I feel that developing friendships gets harder as we get older, but then wonder if it slopes back down after a certain age. Since moving to Texas, I have met many wonderful people that I believe had good intentions to grow a friendship with me. I have been here for nine months and feel disconnected. The other day, I was sharing how I was feeling with a new person in my life. She expressed she had been experiencing the same thing. That conversation inspired this post. As a child, I did struggle to make friends, but not like how I do now. I kind of just picked someone that liked the same things as me and then would be friends for however long. I have noticed that as people get older, like golden years older, they start to lack f***s. By then I think I might be like "either you like me or you don't." I have shared in previous posts why friendship is distinctly challenging for me...
9 comments
Read more

My Experiences - A Year Later!

It has been almost one year since my last blog post. I have been on a long journey since that day and I could not bring myself to write during that time. I am ready to write again. My last post was about me taking care of myself, specifically through physical fitness and relationships. I will talk about my fitness journey in this post because, honestly, it is just easier.
Post a Comment
Read more

Why Not Me

If you have ever been to a therapy session you may have noticed that the therapist does not ask "why?" Ha! If you haven't noticed, you are probably replaying as many sessions as you possibly can to see if you can catch them asking this big no-no question. On the opposite spectrum, as a performance improvement professional, I am taught to ask "why" until all the "whys" have been discovered. What's up with the word "why?" Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay  There are a couple of reasons the word "why" is a challenge. First, it often takes a long time to find "why" and explain "why." We are cautioned about the lengthiness of the "why" exercise in my coursework. More importantly, the term "why" can come off accusatory, judgemental, and blame-attributing. So why do we ask "why" so often? When we are not selected for a job, we want to know why-and we often ask. Is it pos...
Post a Comment
Read more