Skip to main content

My Experiences - Change Is Hard

Change can be extremely hard. I actually did some research on change for an article for work a few months back. I am glad I did that research because it has helped me over the last few months. 

I experience change all the time. My job is inconsistent. I share custody of my daughter. In addition, my life has been in flux for four years now. When I start feeling emotional, I reflect to figure out if something is changing. It’s difficult enough when change is affecting you. It gets really hard when it is affecting others around you that you have to maintain a relationship with: coworkers, friends, significant other, children, etc. 

Summer break brings great challenges for myself and my daughters. It is a loved and hated time of year. When my daughter leaves it is a hard adjustment for me. I’m not sure what goes on with my daughter, but for me it’s an adjustment to a new normal. I have time that is vacated and needs to be filled. I feel a sense of loss; almost a state of grief. It takes about six weeks to get used to a new normal after a change. By the time I am used to things, she is on her way back. This summer, two of my daughters went away.

Now that they have returned, we are all having to adjust again. When this happens we are all emotional. It is hard to communicate. It is hard to be patient with each other. I’m so caught up in my emotions that it’s hard to see that my daughters are going through this with me. Over the last week I have embarrassingly lost my temper with them more times than I would like to count. This change also affects my other two daughters in the house. We are just a big hot mess until we are used to the new normal. 

This is just one small example of change. If you think about your life, how many times have you experienced change and how has it affected you and others around you? You get into a new relationship. You leave a relationship. The relationship changes. You get a new co-worker. You change jobs. You start school. You end school. You have a baby. You have a school age child. You have a teenager. Your child leaves. The list could go on. Change causes stress. Sometimes the stress is good, but it is still stress. Change can get really difficult when it is a change you did not want. This is where you have to try really hard to grasp that feeling of acceptance. 

I am sure that the impact change has on individuals is not the same. Our ability to handle it must be affected by our past, where we are mentally, and the circumstances around the change. Here is an article that talks about the nature of change. 

What about when you want to create a change in yourself or your life? Of course it is hard to make changes within. I wonder how it affects those around us when we make a change to ourselves. If you really think about it, by you deciding to make a change for yourself, you are not just impacting yourself, but others around you. Here is an article about ten rules of change when you want to do some self-change. 

I have been thinking a lot about change and how it impacts my life. This last week has been an emotional roller-coaster ride. I am sure that all the parents with children going back to school are right there with me. I know there are others that are going through change (its inevitable and happening all the time). If you are struggling with change, I want you to know you are not alone. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Will You Be My Friend?

Why is it so hard to make friends? Humans need social connections to survive and thrive. I feel that developing friendships gets harder as we get older, but then wonder if it slopes back down after a certain age. Since moving to Texas, I have met many wonderful people that I believe had good intentions to grow a friendship with me. I have been here for nine months and feel disconnected. The other day, I was sharing how I was feeling with a new person in my life. She expressed she had been experiencing the same thing. That conversation inspired this post. As a child, I did struggle to make friends, but not like how I do now. I kind of just picked someone that liked the same things as me and then would be friends for however long. I have noticed that as people get older, like golden years older, they start to lack f***s. By then I think I might be like "either you like me or you don't." I have shared in previous posts why friendship is distinctly challenging for me...

Twenty-Nineteen, My Year of Courage

... Courage is the word I picked to live by in 2019 Image by 1778011 from Pixabay How did I show courage this year? I moved to Texas without a solid plan. I decided that it was time to see what was on the other side of fear. Leaving the comfort and security of Florida was scary. Moving away from my Florida family, not knowing how to have long distance friendships was scary. Relocating on my own, without the military, without a guarantee, was friggin' scary.  I challenged myself to do uncomfortable things. I have a strong distaste for social engagements that are not themed purposeful parties. That has not changed. But, I knew it was a necessary evil and ventured out to networking events. I crashed a few times, but quickly developed a great strategy. Now, I am somewhat considered an expert on the topic, at least for those that avoid social engagements also.  I faced being fired square in the face and stood tall. I do not shy away from my being fired. I don't e...

Seriously People, Stop With The "Sonar Ping!"

I would like to quickly share how I feel about the phenomenon I call the Sonar Ping text message. This is when someone texts you a "Hey," "Hello," "Sup," [hand wave], etc. You send a quick response back and then you do not hear from them again until much time has passed. I can only guess as to why people do this. Maybe, they want to make sure you are still available to them-when and if they actually want to make time for you. Or possibly, they want to make sure you are alive-feeling guilty about ignoring you. Or perhaps, they genuinely wanted to connect with you but, something is preventing them from completing that chain. Usually this type of behavior does not bother me, but right now it bugs the f**** outta me. You see, I am desperately craving connection and attention. I miss my friends in Florida so very much. I miss my face to face interactions with them. These days, I am alone a lot. Texting is just not quite cutting it anymore. Texting from cer...