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Reaching Out

Why is it hard for us to reach out?

When you are in the midst of a painful, shameful, or fearful moment, you hesitate to reach out. I bet it's because you are protecting yourself. You are already a hot damn mess and you are afraid of being rejected, dismissed, or shamed by others.
My favorite statement I love hearing after sharing with someone that I had just overcame something painful, shameful or fearful is "you should have reached out to me." Well damn! How was I supposed to know? I was afraid to reach out to anyone. Or maybe I reached out to someone who had said that to me in the past and they were not as receptive as I had hoped.

We all struggle sometimes. Unfortunately, most of us struggle alone and in silence because it is scary to be vulnerable and past experiences proved we cannot trust anyone to give a sh*t. Or maybe we attempted and failed. It's so hard to try again because that rejection just added more to the pile of steaming sh*t you currently call your life.

Why is it so hard for humans to give a sh*t? Why do we wince as if we tasted something bitter when someone we love shares a tender moment with us? Why do we instantly start telling them what's wrong with them or how to fix everything? Hello shame!!! Maybe we completely ignore the situation and breeze past it to discuss something else. Another fun tactic we use is minimizing the situation as if it does not matter. Man we are some weak-a** people, sometimes.

We need to man-or-woman-up and be there for each other. In order to give a sh*t, you have to be able to reach deep inside yourself to find a moment where you felt how the struggling person felt. That is scary AF. You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable with that person.

Who TF wants to do that? You do! You want to do that!
Remember the last time you felt alone in your "what am I doing with my life" hell? Or maybe you had a "why did this happen to me" moment where you really needed someone just to sit with you in your pain. Remember it-yes it sucks-but remember it and be there for someone else like you wished someone had been there for you. Choose courage! Be the person that changes the cycle. One day, we won't have to remember when someone wasn't there for us and we can remember when someone was-all because someone chose to change the cycle.

Rarely will someone reach out when they are struggling. If anything, they will attempt to hide it with positive Facebook posts and Insta-stories. If someone has the courage to reach out, take a breath and remind yourself of this post. If the only thing you can think of to say is "damn that sucks" then so be it. Just do not try to fix it or down play it. Be the person you wish others would be for you.

*Jumping off my soap box*

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