Twenty-Nineteen, My Year of Courage

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Courage

is the word I picked to live by in 2019

Image by 1778011 from Pixabay

How did I show courage this year?

1. I moved to Texas without a solid plan. I decided that it was time to see what was on the other side of fear. Leaving the comfort and security of Florida was scary. Moving away from my Florida family, not knowing how to have long distance friendships was scary. Relocating on my own, without the military, without a guarantee, was friggin' scary. 
2. I challenged myself to do uncomfortable things. I have a strong distaste for social engagements that are not themed purposeful parties. That has not changed. But, I knew it was a necessary evil and ventured out to networking events. I crashed a few times, but quickly developed a great strategy. Now, I am somewhat considered an expert on the topic, at least for those that avoid social engagements also. 
3. I faced being fired square in the face and stood tall. I do not shy away from my being fired. I don't exactly wear it like a badge of honor, but I take the courageous stance that it is a part of my story. So, when I am asked direct questions that the honest and true answer is "I was fired," then that is what I say, without a whisper-in a normal matter of fact tone. 
4. I stood alone with my values. While others were trying to direct me to the common path with common values, I said "no thank you;" not every time, but most times. When I didn't I was schwacked by the Universe. I do not like being schwacked. I much prefer people call me "crazy" or "difficult." 

Through this journey, I have realized that courage often looks like crazy or stupid to some. Learning to accept the judgement of others while being strong in my decisions is hard. I learned a lot about having compassion for myself this year because having courage is not always easy.

My favorite thing about staying strong in courage is how I feel when I make a mistake. I love feeling proud of being true to myself when I falter.

Towards the later half of 2019, I did some self-reflection with the assistance of Brene Brown's book Dare to Lead. During that work, I discovered my two foundational core values are courage and legacy. I feel like 2020 will be my legacy year, so that is my word for next year. Its going to be a great one!